Filler Bits: Reginald Murami the Magnificent
One afternoon after school when Alf didn't have a magic lesson with Aliana, but Jessica had to help out at Dr. Aldus' dental surgery, the place where they'd first met, Alf found himself wandering the hallways of the Aldus family house. Despite the fact that he'd been in and out of here ever since he discovered his magic, Alf realised that he hadn't spoken to any of the people who lived here who weren't part of the Aldus family. With a little boredom, Alf intended to do just that today.
He'd managed to forget where any of their rooms were located, so he was wandering aimlessly, admiring the artwork and various family heirlooms that any house that had been handed down through the generations would be bereft without, when he noticed a strange man at the end of the hallway. Racking his memory, Alf tried to put a name to the silhouette, but he had to come to the conclusion that he'd never met the man before.
"Hello," the man said, turning to greet Alf. "Do you live here?" he asked.
"Um, no," Alf responded, wondering why that was the man's first question.
"I didn't think so," he said with a smile, as though very pleased that he was correct in his assumption. "I didn't think I'd met you before. And you don't look like an Aldus."
"Uh, who are you?" Alf asked him curiously. Who was he to know what an Aldus looked like? As far as he could tell they all looked very different.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that question?" he asked with a bit of a malicious look on his face, as though he were a small child about to dob on someone.
Should the man be the one asking the question? Alf didn't know. "Fine," he said. Then stated his name, "Alf Struthers. And you are?"
"Reginald Murami," he said with a grin, taking Alf's hand and shaking it vigorously. His shift in demeanour had Alf slightly confused. He supposed that was the effect Reginald was looking for as he seemed overly pleased with himself. "So what brings you to the house?" he asked Alf.
Alf shrugged, not entirely certain he should trust this strange man even if he did meet him in the Aldus house. "Just bored, I guess."
That seemed to be the wrong answer to a question Alf didn't realise was being scored.
"Bored?" the man asked with a frown. "Why, when I was your age there was no shortage of things I could do to entertain myself. You know, proclaiming yourself bored is no better than saying to the world: I am boring." he reprimanded.
This made Alf properly defensive. He'd just been insulted. "Well I'm not bored now," he informed the man. "Because I decided to come here and have a look around."
"No," the man disagreed with a shake of his head. "You're not bored because I'm here to entertain you."
Alf rolled his eyes internally so that the slightly crazy man wouldn't see.
"Come along," he said, grabbing Alf's wrist and tugging him through the hallways of the manor.
Before Alf could ask "Where are you taking me?", they'd arrived at their destination: a rather unremarkable looking door.
"I know what you're thinking," the man said, causing Alf to wonder if the man really did know what he was thinking and therefore had 'seen' Alf's previous eye rolling. "You're thinking," he continued. "What's so great and interesting about this door? It looks like all the others. How is it supposed to make me less bored with myself?"
That wasn't what Alf was thinking so he gave a relieved nod in response.
"I knew it," the man said cheerily, tapping his nose. "The Nose knows."
Alf's attention was drawn to the man's rather large nose. He hadn't noticed it before, but it was shaped rather like a tap and he wondered vaguely if you could turn it on and off like a tap, too. It wouldn't be a particularly useful talent, though. Very few people in the world would want to see a man's nose gushing snot, but Alf imagined that it might be useful in entertaining small children.
Alf was so preoccupied by his thoughts of noses and mucus that he'd missed Reginald's dramatic opening of the door. The man was looking at him expectantly so he took a peek inside. The room inself was about as unremarkable as its door. It was a bedroom, furnished as though by someone two centuries ago but maybe have only been furnished one century ago, like every other room in the house. It had, perhaps, a few more knick knacks than the other rooms in the house collected on its shelves, but was very similar to Jessica's bedroom, and the spare bedrooms they sometimes sat in to have private conversations. Alf turned to look at the man, disguising his contempt as curiosity on his face.
"I can see you are amazed by all you see before you," he declared, reminding Alf of a poor magician who wouldn't deviate from his act despite a lack of audience attention. "You are wondering: Who does this bedroom belong to? Well, wonder no longer. Feast your eyes on the bedroom of Reginald Murami!" he introduced, gesturing toward the room.
Alf rather expected that announcement to come with a clap of thunder and a cloud of smoke, but no added theatrics accompanied Reginald's own.
"Dare you enter the bedroom of Reginald Murami?" he asked Alf with a glint in his eye.
That glint suddenly worried Alf terribly. He didn't know this strange Reginald Murami. He'd never heard of him until he'd introduced himself. What if he was a sexual predator, a paedophile just waiting to stumble upon teenage boys who were a bit small of their ages?
"Uh, sorry," Alf said, backing away. "I don't think I do dare." And with those words he ran toward where he thought the front door of the house was located, leaving a disappointed Reginald Murami to wonder what he'd said to scare the boy off.
Alf was correct in his estimation of the front door of the house as he ran into Jessica coming into the house with Dr Aldus.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Dr Aldus asked.
"Oh, nowhere," Alf replied. "Just excited to see Jessica."
Dr Aldus smiled at the two of them kindly. "Well, I'll see you when I see you two, then."
"So what's going on?" Jessica asked Alf.
"Do you know who Reginald Murami is?" he asked her.
"Uncle Reginald used to live here," Jessica answered.
"But he's here right now," Alf stated worriedly. He used to live there? Had he died? Was Reginald Murami a ghost? It would explain his rather eccentric behaviour. You couldn't expect ghosts to be right in the head.
"Really?" Jessica queried. "No one was expecting him. Not that I know of, anyway."
"So he's not dead?" Alf asked her.
"No," she shook her head. "There are no such thing as ghosts. Why would you think that?"
"He's a very strange man," Alf stated, hoping Reginald wasn't in earshot.
"He's an Aldus like Rock is," Jessica explained. "We think him not having magic made him a bit, unbalanced, if you know what I'm saying. He pretends he can do magic. Actually he does it for a living. Sometimes I even wonder how he does things."
"Oh." Well, that explained the second rate magic act. "I suppose I'd better apologise for being rude to him, then."
"What did you do?" Jessica asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at the younger teen.
"I ran away when he invited me into his bedroom."
"Oh," Jessica responded. "You should apologise, then. He's got all sorts of cool stuff in his room. And he's great at telling stories about them. You're never bored with him around," Jessica grinned.
"I guess I'd better do it now, then," Alf said.
"Yup," Jessica agreed. "I'll go with you."
Alf nodded his acquiescence and by default Jessica led him through the corridors of the manor until they reached Reginald Murami's now familiar door. Alf noticed that it hadn't taken nearly as long to get here as it did when he had run down to the front door by himself. Apparently there was a short cut.
"Why isn't his last name Aldus?" Alf asked as the thought struck him suddenly, just before the knocked.
"It is," Jessica stated. "He just uses Reginald Murami the Magnificent as his stage name." She knocked on the door.
Reginald opened it and looked at Jessica happily. "Hello my dear," he greeted her, then noticed Alf beside her. "And you," he acknowledged.
"I came to apologise about earlier," Alf said. "I just noticed the time and realised Jessica would be waiting for me. I'd like to see your bedroom now if you'd let me." Both Alduses looked at him as though they knew he was telling a lie - though in Jessica's case she really did know that it was a lie. They let it slide without verbal acknowledgment and Reginald allowed them entrance to his room.
Jessica asked where he'd been over the past couple of years and Reginald launched into tales about elephants and (Komodo) dragons. He showed them some things he'd picked up: strange baubles and trinkets that looked as though they were made from expensive gemstones and turned out to be made of painted wood; and various carvings and voodoo dolls, a number of things that nons thought were magical but really weren't.
Then he began showing them his magical items that glowed and tinkled with other-worldly power. It was long past dinner when they remembered to eat, and Mr Aldus had already told Alf's parents that he would be sleeping over that night. So Jessica and Alf were easily entertained by Reginald the Magnificent the rest of the evening.
posted by Cedric @ 9:27 am
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